Bakit nga pala ako nasa FA?

Naiinis ako na kailangan magsimula at matapos yung araw ko na IKAW yung nakikita ko.

'Cause we all been painted by numbers.

So, I think I should put off this "women and hormones" entry I mentioned before for next time. I think it's about time for a New Year's entry, yea?

And maybe this time, I won't look back.
Every year whenever I write my New Year's entry, I look back at what was -- if I was able to do what I always wanted to, if I've done something great, if I've met new people, if I've improved. Or not. I kept saying in those entries that I shouldn't regret, too. I think by writing those entries, I've regretted.

Not directly, but somehow I have. By realizing the things I'm thankful for, I realize my mistakes. By realizing my mistakes, I realize what I could have done better. By that, I regret.

And you're really not supposed to. When you look at those mistakes, you look at them not to wish you could have done something else. The whole point of looking back is to be thankful of what you've done so far and what your choices, may it be the choices you wanted to take or the choices you had to take, have done for you. It's extremely cliche to say but things really do happen for a reason.

I myself have a couple of regrets.
Actually, more of "what ifs". Like, what if instead of losing that fight with my dad on whether to study in UST (for Architecture, the course I still dream of taking) or DLSU for college? What if right now I'm on my 3rd year there, currently taking my majors, studying to be an architect? Would I be as happy as I am now in Ateneo, where I had to transfer to just to be able to take up fine arts, a far second choice?

For me, it's still pretty hard to let go. I still want to take up Architecture, I still want to be an architect. And I still don't understand my dad's petty reasons not letting me go to UST. It's been three years and I still wonder about it. In my head, I can imagine my dad and I conversing about it -- I could never win. Even if I say things happen for a reason, I still can't really accept it.

And I'm not going to use that as a turning point for this entry.
Things happen for a reason but I'm not going to accept it for that event. What I do is I make the most out of what I have now. For me not to regret my stay in Ateneo, I try not to tinker around that what if because I know I'll just regret the years I've spent here already.

Just so you know, I'm thankful for a lot of things.
And I'm not going to enumerate them KASI SABI KO NGA HINDI AKO MAGLULOOKBACK. Jeki, ano ba?


Hay. Okay.
So. Instead of looking back, I'm here to look forward to 2010.

1. BENTE NA AKO SA APRIL.
I remember Buh not taking it so well when it was his turn last February, calling that age twenteen. I'm not sure how I'll take it. Maybe there's that feeling of getting old? But I don't know, I still look twelve -- I'm not sure how I'd feel old.

Ewan. But it's something to look forward to, first year as an adult!
(Haha it's sounds so immature to say out loud.)

2. Friends are coming home :D
Roz is finally going back after her one-year exchange student time in Korea by early January, Tina Marie's going to visit by May, and I think Pin's going back for Christmas? I don't know, I forgot. Pin, are you going back for Christmas? Please say you're going back for Christmas? :D

3. LR39++'s graduation!
WOW HAHA Imagine if I didn't transfer? I'd be graduating with you guys.
I want to witness this, someone make me part of their family for the day haha

4. Analog with Roz.
Since she's coming back home, we get to visit that toy camera store and look at the nice ones.
I want the Fuji Instax Mini 7 one but maaaybe I might get a Superheadz UWS Fat Lens instead. Or The Golden Half (that I just found today it's so small and it sounds like a good investment)! I guess I have a thing for wide angle lenses. I'm really looking forward to this!

It's so much easier to long for these kinds, it's so much easier on the wallet.

5. Majors :D
I want to become an artist. A REAL ONE.

6. 365 Project.
I'm determined to do my photo a day project. It'll really help in my artistic journey hoho

7. Another year.
What other reason is there? Another 365 days to plan and look forward to -- new chances, choices, and challenges.


To old friends, thank you for being part of my year every year (:
Thank you for all the spontaneity of Isaw Fridays during Wednesdays, the arguments over petty things, the highs we got just getting together, and simply just the time we spent. Amazing, it was.

To new friends, thank you for being part of my year now.
Where have you been? I've met people I could never imagine to be friends with, people who have similar brainwaves as I, people I'm sure to love as the days go by. I look forward to each of the next days I'll be spending with you guys. Thank you for the laughs so far, the nights you've kept me up, and the things you've taught me.


So many things happened this year. So many tragic calamities occurred that sometimes, it's hard to see how this year was great. So many people have passed away, not just celebrities but people who are dear to us. It's hard to understand how things happen for a reason. In fact, it's a stupid excuse to tell those who were directly affected.

There's nothing I can say to make it better but here's to hoping for a lighter year. Definitely hopefully eventful but much more lighter on the aches.

In my 28pt font (or not pero ito na yung pinakamalaki sa Blogspot), I say
Happy 2010!

Just a lie you've got to rise above.

This is dedicated to my number one (and probably only) fan, Siege Darbiana.
Cyd Tribiana: Hi. I just want to tell you that I enjoy reading your blog. :) Haha. Oh, and I miss you. Mmkaybye.
Ma. Jessica Ona: I miss you, too!
Ma. Jessica Ona: You didn't go to the Christmas party :\
Ma. Jessica Ona: I'm writing an entry about women and hormones, you should read it when I'm done haha
Ma. Jessica Ona: Oh, and you make me happy. I have a fan.
Ma. Jessica Ona: Hahahaha
Ma. Jessica Ona: And yes, my font is huge.
Cyd Tribiana: Yes. I am your fan. I check your blog for new entries regularly.
Cyd Tribiana: :))
Ma. Jessica Ona: You are awesome.

We had an argument before about the word girl. He said it was a weird word and its spelling made no sense. I didn't agree then, I thought he was just saying that because I was a girl.

He IMed me today and I remembered that conversation. And now I actually agree.
And to commemorate our friendship, I will write a list of weird words. I tried to cheat a little and Googled "weird words" and one of those that came up was erinaceous.

That's not weird, that's just really complicated. Like Chinese words, you're never sure how to say them.
I declare erinaceous an interesting word (if it's even a word).

Okay, anyway. Let's get on with the list.


Awesome
Bleak
Bowl
Button
Cake
Cheated
Clad
Clock
Coil
Cram
Crater
Cruel
Desk
Ever
Flake
Flavor
Girl
Glad
Great
Heart
Hormone
Increase
Lemon
Pause
Recite
Tidy
Toilet
Tune
Twenty
Water
Weird
Wicked
Wire
World
Write
Wrong


I think I can write a few more but the list might get too long that I might lose my one and only fan because of it.

So I guess no one gets how weird those words are so I'll let you in on why: just keep on repeating those words and it'll just lose meaning. Maybe just about every word in the world is weird when you say it repeatedly but I don't know. I say those words are especially weird.

Don't tell me you don't agree, Cyd!

http://fffourteen.tumblr.com/

I have decided to make a new tumblr account because I wanted to be part of the tumblr world again.
I forgot how addicting it was and I don't know, I was reading Mindy's tumblr and I just wanted in again haha

So. Yun lang.
Gusto ko lang makiuso.



I'm wondering if I should cross-post entries from here to there.
Or there to here.
Or keep them completely separate.

Hm. Bahala na.

To a lifetime of you.

I was reading through all my blog entries back in my Multiply site (I revived it because Facebook upload SUCKS ASS) and I have come to a conclusion: I am my favorite writer. Not that I'm a great read or I'm as awesome as those published prolific writers out there but I find myself interesting. How conceited hahaha

But I don't know, I found myself reading through hundreds of pages of my ranting and if I didn't need to stop to breathe a little, I wouldn't have. Or maybe the idea of reminiscing is attractive? The year IS ending in just a few days.


I wrote about everything.
I was able to write about everything, even the meaningless things. I guess I'm really that talkative that I can stretch stupid things into longer, not necessarily more meaningful paragraphs. That's a good thing academically, I guess? I won't ever have to feel threatened by long minimum page limitations.


I'm such a nerd.




I ran into this wishlist I had back in 2008: The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards and Everyman by Philip Roth. I still haven't read both and it's never too late for a Christmas present! I don't mind either borrowing or having my own copy, I just want to read (:

I forgot how I found out about these books but now that I'm reminded about them, I want to read them. I still haven't started reading A Wild Sheep Chase by Haruki Murakami but you can never have too much books to read.


I also read the entries I wrote when I was quarantined the second time.
I never really said it then but I think I really was infected by Swine Flu haha I was really sick then and my parents were extra cautious. Lysol was the everyday scent of my room and I was practically training myself for a water cure -- you know, that old torture thing.

My parents are usually terrified people.
They try to shy my eyes away from the needle when I take blood tests, distract me when I get my bones.. fixed, and never tell me these serious things. I think they think I scare easily.


Well, yes sort of.
But I think I know how to drown it out sometimes (except the horror movies or those shock sites). Or sometimes I find it interesting, maybe?

When my pinky got dislocated back in highschool (crazy dislocation that was, one flick and my bone could've just snapped off), I was brought to the hospital after a few days. We had speculations that it was just a really bad sprain.
So anyway, the doctor that attended to me was really nice. He talked to me about football, asked me about my favorite team and players, and asked me why my favorite player was a midfielder when I was a keeper. I knew he was doing what my parents were -- distracting me.

But I was really interested in how he was going to fix my pinky.
He put in the anesthesia and after a few minutes, started to check if I still felt anything. When I told him I didn't feel anything there anymore, he just pulled it back in.

I was hoping for something a bit more dramatic. Probably no blood but maybe a cracking sound or something haha

But yes.
Okay, I have lost my trail of thought.

I'm partly glad I'm not part of it anymore.

1. I don't like their god. She plays biases.

2. They don't celebrate Christmas, the best holiday ever. They are forced to work during the holidays and if one of them stops working, all of them are subjected to punishment.

3. Another thing about their god -- she has not yet brought any wealth to her subjects. She's been in existence for quite some time now and still, there's no improvement in stature.


I miss being part of it most of the time but right now, I'm glad I'm not. But when you guys are working during the day, I hate being the outsider.
Good luck, friends (and I mean that sincerely). I miss being part of you terribly and I would've endured all of that with you. It sucks that you guys have to work during the Christmas break, though.


Outsiders, especially those who have never been part of this: if you want to understand all you have to do is ask.
Disclaimer: I am not mocking anyone's god :|

Hoy babaeng masungit sa counter ng Burger King,

puwede mo lang akong sungitan kung tama ka, okay?
As in yung sure kang ako yung mali. Maiintindihan ko kung bakit mo ako susungitan kung ako yung mali sa 'tin pero alam mo, sobrang petty ng "pinagawayan" natin. Nagawa mo pa akong sungitan eh ikaw yung mali, bait bait kong kausap.

J: *mga order naming magkakapatid* tas yung drink ng isa Iced Tea.
Babaeng masungit sa counter ng Burger King: Okay, Hi-c Apple.
J: Hindi. Iced Tea.
B: Oo nga, Hi-c.
J: IceD Tea, hindi Hi-c.
B: Oo nga! Hi-c Apple.
J: Hindi nga Hi-c. Iced Tea, yung Lipton.
B: Oo nga. *alis para kumuha ng Hi-c*
J: *to other lady behind the counter* Pakisabi nga dun na ICED TEA yung order, hindi Hi-c. Kasi Hi-c yung kinukuha niya ngayon.
Other lady: Hoy *babaeng masungit sa counter ng Burger King* , Iced Tea raw hindi Hi-c!


Alam mo.



(Edit: 11:43pm)
Ay, oo nga pala.
Tatlong beses nga pala siya nagkamali sa order namin. Buti mabait pa rin kami sa kanya na kahit kulang yung pinunch niya at sana'y libre na kami ng isang meal, sinabi ko pa rin at binayaran ko siya.

At honga pala (dahil sabi ni Christian ilagay ko), umirap nga pala siya sa bawat oo nga na sinabi niya.

Christian Bautista: umirap tas mali parin
Christian Bautista: jusko